A guide to manual sex for her

Manual stimulation is often something that only happens in the early days of a relationship, before oral and penetrative sex enter the scene. However, the hands can be used to pleasure a woman in wonderfully satisfying ways. Manual play is a relatively protected play as there's no fluid exchange (assuming you don't have cuts on your hands - if you do, wear latex gloves) so it's a great way to learn about your lover's body.

Every woman is different but almost all women masturbate, so she'll probably know exactly what turns her on. Ask your lover to masturbate in front of you so that you can see what she likes. Put your hand on top of hers to feel the way that she flexes her hand, how fast she moves and feel how much pressure she uses and where.

Remember to start gently and work your way up - the clit can be highly sensitive.

If she's too shy to show you, get exploring. Don't just use one hand. Let the other caress her breasts and stroke her thighs - or use the fingers of one hand to focus on her clitoris, and the other for penetration. Start with one finger and only add more as she gets more aroused or asks for more.

Lube will make your fingers glide more sensually and ease insertion (if she likes it, rather than purely clitoral play).

The clitoris extends far further than the small 'button' most people assume it to be and can be stimulated by cupping the pubic mound and gently rocking your hand. Other techniques include:

  1. Spreading the labia with one hand, with the heel of your hand on the clitoris, using fingers from the other hand for penetration.
  2. Sliding your fingers in a V-shape up and down the clitoris.
  3. Tapping the soft pad of your fingers over the pubic mound and clitoris.
  4. Swirling your fingertips around the clitoris in ever-decreasing circles

Experiment with different techniques, speeds and pressures to see what works best, but remember to start gently and work your way up - the clitoris can be highly sensitive.

Using your fingers on a woman isn't just part of foreplay. It can be a wonderful way to show her how much you love pleasuring her; an easy way to thrill her when you're not in the mood; and can also come in handy if you 'finish first' during sex and don't want to leave her high and dry: a handy way to play.